The extra tuition costs and fees involved in sending children to a Christian elementary, high school, or college are a serious consideration for most families. In fact, more than being a serious consideration, the ‘Christian school’ decision is often one that causes a lot of conflict in families. Some families may have made the arrangements to save money for the cost of school, while others will be forced to consider student loans.
Since we all have varying debt tolerance, it is important to make this decision carefully and prayerfully.
How To Decide If You Can Afford A Christian School
I think the decision to send children to a Christian school is much like the decision to be a stay at home wife. It’s not just something you decide if you can afford, but you decide to sacrifice so that you can afford it – if it’s important to you.
Listen To Each Other’s Story
Here’s the deal. The husband and wife probably have very different experiences with Christian schools.
Perhaps the wife was raised attending a Christian elementary school, but the husband was part of the public school system.
Here’s how the conversation typically goes:
Wife – “I just really want Nebuchadnezzar to go to the best school possible. It is important to me that he is in a classroom with other Christians, is learning Christian values, and has a Christian teacher.”
Husband – “You’re just trying to shelter Nebuchadnezzar. Look, I went to a public school and I turned out alright, didn’t I?”
Tip to the wife – always answer yes to that question.
Husband – “It is a waste of money paying for a Christian education when he can get a good education in the public system.”
Questions the Couple Should Ask When Considering a Christian Private School
- Why do you feel so strongly Nebuchadnezzar should go to a Christian school / public school? If you don’t get good feedback, then ask it this way: On a scale of 1 – 10, how strongly do you feel that he should go to Christian / public school.
- What is your greatest fear if he does not go to a Christian school? What is your greatest fear if he does not go to a public school?
- Can we afford a Christian private school? Is there any free space in your budget categories allocations?
Ask: Can We Afford a Christian School?
You must listen to each other’s story because you will now know the level of commitment / opposition each of you will give to the decision. It will be nearly impossible to answer if you can afford it until you both decide that you want to afford it. Work to get your marriage on the same financial page so that you both support your financial decisions. Here are some tips for improving your marriage and money relationship.
Private Christian School Guidelines To Consider
- Tuition payments to a private Christian school are not a substitute for a free-will gift. Giving should happen without alternative benefits and motivations. Proceed with caution if you think the way you can afford a Christian school is by using your giving money to pay tuition.
- Borrowing money to pay for (especially a pre-college) Christian education is a poor financial decision. If you are thinking about borrowing money to pay for Nebuchadnezzar’s elementary education, you will probably do it for high school and college too. Before you know it, you will be drowning in debt. Proceed with caution if you think the way you can afford a Christian school is by borrowing money.
- Large gifts from family members can complicate your relationship with them. If grandparents want to help pay for a Christian education, I suggest you proceed with caution. If you have any doubt that the grandparents might use this as leverage in the future, then I would find a different way to fund a Christian education.
- Is the tuition cost sustainable long term? Often times people will do something drastic (part time job or sell things on ebay) to pay for a year of Christian education. If the payments are not sustainable for the long term, you will need to evaluate other alternatives.
- Are the tuition payments reasonable according to your salary? You get to be the judge on “reasonable”. Honestly, it comes down to the question – how much are you willing to sacrifice in order for your child to attend a Christian school? Don’t forget about other siblings too, as you may be setting a dangerous precedent.
If you cannot afford it based on these guidelines – fear not. You still have on more step to consider.
Ask: What Can I Do To Make Private Christian Schooling More Affordable?
- Contact the school and explain your situation. Many Christian schools have benefactors or scholarships depending on your situation. Call the school and openly and honestly explain your situation. Don’t be demanding or aggressive. Simply explain your situation and ask if there is anything they can do to help.
- Consider working for the school. I grew up in a town with a Christian high school. (I attended the school, as did my two older brothers. Dad was the school president, so there wasn’t much discussion in the matter
). I have a cousin who moved to work for the school specifically so his kids could attend the Christian high school. By moving, he saved boarding expenses and also received a significant tuition deduction. I know many people who have taken jobs at a Christian school just for the tuition discount. Depending on your church affiliation, many schools offer “sister school discounts”. As such, since my dad worked for school A, I received a tuition discount to school B. - Look into other occupations that might offer discounts. Some Christian schools offer discounts to missionaries or ministers (a nice perk for the minister’s salary package). While I’m not suggesting joining one of those ‘professions’ for the discount, it would be valuable information to know if you are already working in a ministry-related field. Some schools are known to be quite flexible on their definition of “minister”.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Great topic, and one of the really tough decisions we all face as parents.
Our kids have loved their small Christian school from K-8 but we are putting our daughter back into public schools for high school in part because a larger public high school has much more in the way of gifted programs and activities and in part to help save money for private college. My thought is that if you can’t afford both private high school and a private Christian college it is probably safer to give them exposure to the secular school world while they are still living with you.
.-= gn´s last blog ..Food for Thought: Govt Withholding Plummets =-.
Are they’re any statistics availabe measuring the correlation between believers at say, ages 35, 40 or 50, and attendance at Christian schools?
Are there similar statistics for public school attendance?
I’m asking because most of the adult believers I know didn’t attend Christian schools, so I’m not sure, anecdotally of course, if Christian school = adult believer.
This may be flawed, but to my thinking, that’s the primary reason I might send my kids to Christian schools, to raise the chances that they’d be believers in adult life.
.-= Kevin@OutOfY0urRut´s last blog ..How Much Money Can You Save by NOT Eating Out? =-.
@Kevin
Interesting question. I’m sure there have been studies, but I don’t have any stats.
@gn
You make a good point. If it is one or the other (school at home or school away from home) I would also rather them be at a Christian school away from home.
In our area, the schools are fantastic. Great, awesome. No reason to think they would offer any less of an education. Yet a lot of Christians home school and send their kids to private schools (also some of the best around). I struggle with it for two reasons. 1. It does not teach the young person how to interact with people daily of different faiths and backgrounds. 2. I have met just as many jacked up kids at christian schools then public schools.
I always recommend to kids that have a strong faith and good family to go to public school. There are so many opportunities to learn what the world is like and to get extra curricular mentoring or teaching from the vast amount of churches around. There are definitely kids that need that nurturing environment with some extra attention. Maybe they had some bad experiences with friends or have some learning disabilities that need more attention a private school has. But I find the drawbacks to be way to much if the public schools nearby are good. If they stink- then of course. Who wouldn’t? Lots of urban areas have that issue.
.-= Ted @broketofree´s last blog ..The shame of debt =-.
We sent our kids to a Christian School. My youngest is graduating this year. Sending your kids to a Christian School is not guarantee of adult faithfulness but it does help. As parents, you can’t let your guard down just because your child is at a Christian School. The most important and impactful spiritual training should come from the home.
Another benefit of a Christian School is that they are usually smaller than public shools so it is easier for students to get involved in school activities. Keeping kids involved in school and church activities is important, especially during their teen years.
Finally, I believe the teachers a Christian Schools are special. Like any school, they are not all great teachers. But, I do believe they are answering a service call, they certainly aren’t doing it for the pay. In general they love teaching and working with children and have the added bonus of a spiritual focus.
@Ted
You make some good points. Still, if someone can afford it and prefers a Christian school that is great. My place of concern comes when people do it because they cannot afford it. That is a dangerous place to be.
Alan,
There are certainly a lot of benefits associated with Christian schools.
In my case, I attended a Christian high school and that experiences had a huge impact on where I am today.
You are right, also that many of the teachers in private schools do so out of a sense of calling not income. When my wife moved from a public school to a private school she took a significant pay cut. However, she loved the unique opportunity to help spiritually impact children.
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